02.01
So, I was born and raised a Catholic. I attended catholic schools and, in my formative years, church. The latter was a weekly occurrence during the earlier stages of my childhood. Hell, I still go to mass on Christmas Eve, more out of habit than actual devotion to the faith. While I questioned my religion a long time ago and have essentially come to give up on pretty much all aspects of the Catholic Church, there are some aspects to Bible that I believe aren’t the fiction that the devout atheists would have you believe.
For example; I’m not about to state categorically that Jesus didn’t exist. I’m pretty sure he didn’t do half the stuff they say he did and that his birthday isn’t December 25. But, I do believe there was a man around about that time who had some fairly funky ideas about how people should treat each other. I’m pretty certain that his school of thought clashed with the beliefs of the Roman occupiers. I’m pretty sure that executed him for it. After that, things get a little funny.
Well, prior to that, the night before if the stories are to be believed, there was strange things afoot. You know, for an organisation that scorns all things supernatural you can’t help but notice there’s quite a lot of it in their religion.
Firstly, at the last supper, Jesus commands his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood. Now, that’s cannibalism (frowned upon by most of us, religion aside) and vampirism. Then there’s the resurrection – this is clearly when Jesus became a zombie.
Although, if I may digress for moment, Jesus wasn’t the first zombie going around; he was the second. So perhaps this is why Catholics are OK with it. Lazarus was the first zombie – although Jesus did have a hand in making it all happen – and this happened before Jesus was himself zombified.
Finally, in his grand “holy fuck yeah I’m the son of God” move, Jesus took off, achieve escape velocity and disappear into space, or heaven if you prefer, never to be seen again. Now, while Jesus doesn’t do this mounted on a broom, it’s pretty obvious that he’s either A) JK’s inspiration for Harry Potter or B) the world’s first witch. Again, not really keeping with good Christian values, is it?
Then we have the dates of certain Catholic events. Again, there’s an air of the Pagans around it. Look at Easter. There’s nothing about how the date of Easter is determined that isn’t pagan. I would have thought that the events of Easter would have occurred on a particular day. Not a day that shifts depending on what phase of the moon it is.
The other problem with religion comes not from the church itself, but from those that follow it. It seems that because you are religious you seem to think that you have some sort of moral superiority over those that don’t. Just because you don’t believe in sex before marriage (Tony Abbott; I’m looking at you), doesn’t mean you should impose that belief on others. Just because you happen to think that the society needs to change in order to protect your children from things you don’t want them to see, doesn’t mean it should.
But, this isn’t to mean that I’m against religion. If you want to hold those beliefs close then you’re free to do so. Just remember they’re your beliefs. Not everyone elses.