Vegemite iSnack 2.0 is not only the product with the single most awful name in the history of human kind, it is also a disgraceful smear on the identity of a proud national symbol.
What the fuck were Kraft thinking when they decided that Vegemite (a product that has been sold unchanged for the last 80 years or so) needed a reboot and change. Seriously: What the fuck? Vegemite isn’t something that we need the rest of the world to understand. Vegemite is one of the few foodstuffs that can be considering uniquely Australia. Milo and Tim Tams being two others that immediately spring to mind.
What Kraft wanted to do was dumb Vegemite down to sell to an overseas audience. What they should have done is not bothered trying to sell their attempt here in Australia. This watered down version is awful. There’s nothing wrong with the original Vegemite and if other countries don’t understand it then I’d suggest that it’s probably a problem with them and not the product. Just kill it already.
Then, after creating the most horrid substance known to man, they went and gave it the stupidest, most clichéd, most marketing driven name that could have. They named it Vegemite iSnack 2.0. Yes, that’s right iSnack 2.0. Kraft have taken the name (from a public suggestions contest) with the most hated things to come out of the last 4 years of the Internet and apply them to a sandwich spread. Putting a lower-case ’i’ in front of a name is something that really should have just stayed with Apple. They popularised the stupid idea and they can keep it. As for the ’2.0′, that died the same day people finally stopped talking about ‘web 2.0′ with every new social network that launched. It’s utterly unoriginal and pretty pathetic given the thousands of clearly better suggestions that they would have received.
So Kraft, take your attempt to make our lovely breakfast spread generic and it’s stupid new name and fuck right off. Go and think long and hard about what you’ve done. No other brand would change their landmark product in such a crap way, there’s a bloody good reason for it.
